“New times – new men?”

Welcome

It is a pleasure to see that the Government’s initiative in renewing the debate on the place and role of men in modern society has been positively received. I am glad to see that so many people have accepted the invitation to participate at this conference.

I hope we can use this conference to explore old and new truths about men. We have called the conference New times – New Men? – Don’t forget the question mark!

Four keynote speakers from four different environments – the church, the armed forces, industry and a research environment – have been invited to define their functions and challenges as role models. Each in their own way they influence our perception of ourselves.

I hope this day can be spent asking questions and opening for reflection – rather than providing answers.

The focus of this conference is the framework within which men live – that is, the life environment within which men are permitted, but are also required, to act. Increased focus on the role of men, masculinity and gender culture is essential in order to provoke debate about the preconditions for providing a good life for both younger and older men, and – in doing so – for women and children, too.

Up until now the debate on gender has been dominated by women. This has influenced the debate on gender roles. It has taken time for us as men to realise that equality concerns us just as much. We want to be part of this debate and we want to state our terms.

My main hope for this conference is that it can challenge men to think aloud. Formulating our expectations can be a good starting-point. How do we want ourselves and other men to be?

I believe that men have an important contribution to make in the continued development of a society characterised by equality and equal worth. However, this should not be at the expense of us as men, nor at the expense of women as women for that matter. I am no “man who fixes things around the house”, yet I am proud that I can make use of the best of my abilities at home, at work and among friends, and not least in the football group that meets on Friday mornings. That’s when we test our strength. That’s when we can let loose the boy within.

Conferences on men and care

Men are in focus. Over the last year alone several conferences have been held with a focus on men as fathers, both at home and in the workplace.

This autumn the Nordic Council of Ministers held the first Nordic conference on fatherhood, called “With Daddy in New Tracks”.

In Norway, the Institute for Christian Education arranged a conference on the role of fathers, and published, at the same time, an exciting collection of articles entitled “Father’s Book”, about men, children and upbringing.

The Research Council of Norway quite recently organised the conference “Children and Fathers: Presence, Absence, Care” where three main questions were discussed: Historical changes in western fatherhood, care and everyday life, and new family patterns.

Men as fathers

The pressure of dividing one’s time between work and family life also affects men.

One of the roles of men that has been discussed the most therefore is how we want men to be in relation to own young children.

“Masculine care” was not a concept when I became a father. The writer Anne Cath Vestly had only just begun her “adult education project” with her series of children’s books about Aurora, whose father stayed at home while her mother went to work. But I do have fond memories of my experience as a father of young children and teenagers: Taking them to kindergarten and school, taking part in voluntary communal work and parents’ meetings, taking them skiing and to football matches, saying evening prayers and singing with them – these are experiences which I wouldn’t want to be without. Perhaps not all of them are equally “masculine”! However, the fact that I was there as a man was of value in itself. Times have changed. Domestic responsibilities – both pleasant and unpleasant duties – should be divided more equally. I believe many young men today do their bit as far as they are able – and permitted. Fathers of small children still work the longest hours. Nor should we conceal the fact that men are entering a domain which many women consider their own. The goal should be to divide domestic tasks between two equal adults.

The paternity quota

The introduction of the paternity quota is one example of an initiative which motivates parents to distribute responsibility for child care more equally. The paternity quota, which entitles the father to four weeks’ paternity leave, is a political instrument designed to involve more men in the care of their own children, and must be said to be a very successful measure: Seventy-eight per cent of fathers used their paternity quota in 1997.

One important factor of the paternity quota’s success is probably that it is reserved for the father.

First, the paternity quota is the father’s, and is a supplement to the mother’s quota.

Secondly, the family forfeits this right if the father does not make use of it.

Thirdly, the paternity quota legitimates the period of leave as a natural right in respect of employers.

The father’s individual right to paid leave

The Government has not forgotten its promise to continue work on the question of the father’s individual right to paid leave. As the situation is now, the father’s right to paid leave is dependent on the rights earned by the mother during her time in employment. However, the present economy does not permit new reforms. I hope you can understand that. Even this excellent initiative has to be considered in relation to the nation’s economic situation.

The rights and duties of fathers in the event of a family break-up

Many fathers experience practical and financial difficulties following a family break-up. Fathers have both a right and a duty to continue taking responsibility for their children. One should not take it for granted that the question of custody and care should always be on the mother’s terms. The Minister of Gender Equality is currently working on changes to the regulations regarding child support which will make it easier for both mothers and fathers to continue caring for their children.

The father as a role model for his children

We also need to know more about the very ordinary, but no less important, difficult everyday life of fathers. Much of our thinking in relation to paternal care has an idyllic character. Naturally enough, I can say, since my role model was my robust and reliable father, the most intelligent person I know. At the same time, though, I realise that my own experience differs considerably from that of some people.

Out of regard for the majority of children, it is important to encourage fathers to spend more time in the presence of their children and caring for them. Fathers and mothers are not supposed to replace each other. They are supposed to complement one another.

Men in caring professions

How do we want other men to be in relation to our sons and daughters? Having safe, good role models in kindergartens and schools is vital. Just under 7 per cent of employees in kindergartens are men. This reinforces the notion that men are missing from a child’s upbringing, and it underscores the need to boost the status of caring professions in relation to men’s career choices.

This summer the Government adopted a regulation concerning affirmative action in respect of men.

Affirmative action only covers the areas of education and child care. Nevertheless, it is an important measure, since kindergartens and schools are central arenas for socialisation – also in relation to gender.

Men in relation to young men

We have not spoken much about how we want men to be in relation to young men, and the framework for this. Later today we will hear how the church, the armed forces and industry feel they influence young men. What do they want to be able to offer them?

Men in relation to adult men

In some areas, times certainly have changed. We know that the transition to an information society has affected the whole of Norwegian society – including the lives of men.

To what extent does this represent a problem? Do these new times produce new groups of outsiders and marginalize men who are unable to find their place in society?

What are the backgrounds of men in prison, men who abuse alcohol and other substances, and those who take their own lives?

Which role have other men played in the lives and destinies of these men?

Perhaps, too, we know little about “ordinary“ or so-called “successful” men. We are familiar with the distorted image portrayed in the press. But what is their reality like – the lives they live?

And how about the lives of our new countrymen? I suspect that cultural differences create expectations which must be difficult to reconcile.

New times can create new differences between men. Men’s circumstances differ. Making men synonymous with individual winners and losers is too simple.

Men in employment

A closer investigation of men’s leadership ideals would be beneficial. Leadership – does that mean ruling or serving? As a leader, I would stress the role of leadership as a service. A leader should formulate clear objectives, make demands, and give support and encouragement – celebrate successes and learn from mistakes. It has been said – quite rightly – that a good leader gives of himself to bring out the best in others.

There is still only a minority of men who have a female superior: their boss is generally also a man. What effect does this have on relations between men? Or on relations between nations?

Which economic and other working practices encourage and discourage solidarity between men?

And which practices and social rules are at play when a man is prevented from staying at home with a sick child – men have this right, too!

Shift premiums make up an important part of the income of some working men. How are these affected if and when the father takes leave?

Men who negotiate on behalf of other men in working life should remember that a man’s identity is closely linked with, but far from identical to, his role in occupational life.

Men in relation to elderly men

One topic that is not often debated publicly is the lives of elderly men. Grandfathers and great-grandfathers – what do we really know about their everyday lives? We hear bits and pieces about men with good pensions or lonely, sick elderly men who break down completely when their wives pass away. We have the impression that the social networks of elderly men are not well-developed and that elderly men’s spouses are often the only person they really know. These are only two extremes, however.

Which responsibility do men have and take for the lives of elderly men? We express a desire that men should be involved in the care of our children, but how many voices do we hear calling for the presence of men around the elderly?

Difficult aspects concerning the role of men

In our search for new knowledge about men, it is easy to suppress the unpleasant aspects of male life.

On Friday evening, I visited the Church of Norway’s Urban Mission to see their work for prostitutes in Oslo. It was a challenge for me as a man to meet these women and hear from their own mouths stories of abuse from early infancy. I have to admit that it pained me.

We are all against violence. But what are the links between violence and care? Research into male behaviour suggests that a majority of men who commit acts of violence, both on the street and in the home, have had a violent upbringing.

Men’s problems first and foremost have little to do with violence. Many men experience problems due to a break-up of the family, the distribution of custody, financial matters and unemployment. Eating disorders were for a long time regarded as a woman’s problem. Today we know that men, too, can have such problems.

There is a much to indicate that the ordinary public support services (psychiatric services, family counselling services, social services) are unable to adequately deal with men’s problems.

Conclusion

Men are present in a number of different arenas, and in a variety of roles: we can be spouses, fathers, sons, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, bosses, colleagues, football coaches, men in love, neighbours, etc. It is a paradox that in our information society we lack a good deal of systematised knowledge about the everyday life of men.

Today we’re not looking for simple answers – and certainly not quick fixes. We are attempting through this conference to listen to and learn from each another. New knowledge provides a basis for new understanding, which in turn can be translated into life experience.

Welcome and thank you for your attention.